That's what I did these last few months. I have been travelling and seeing new things for the first time. It was a windfall really because I have not expected it. I now believe to hope on the unexpected.
It was a chance of lifetime, since not many people of my stature are given that oppurtunity. so you see, i am still overwhelmed with it all. but my gratitude has been tacitly addressed to all concerned angels.
so where have i been? hmm... just somewhere very far away. it has always been my dream to be in that place because i have heard a lpt of wonderful stories. now, i have seen the realities for myself. not all talk is true, i have always known that and i have proved it once again.
my feet can not be tied. it always yearn to go places. i know i will go places, i just have to BELIEVE!
i have always been noted as Ms. Tardy. i just coined that name myself [hehehehe....]. i have always been punctual when i was in my home country. i remember waking up at 5:30 AM and getting ready for whatever task is there to prepare. but then things changed, i leave home for an 8 am work time at 8:10. and you guess right, there is that feeling of i will be earlier tomorrow and of course become later tomorrow...
this is really bad! snoozing every ten minutes just to laze off then rushing for a quick shower and a quicker breakfast.
but today was different. i was up early, ate a lazy breakfast and arrived at work 30 minutes before call time. everybody was shocked [guards, office cleaners and the works]! i was too, but it was a good feeling having the office all to yourself and getting productive.
i think i will do this again!
hoping and wishing is for free, so i might as well indulge myself in the luxury of dreaming and wishing. i do not need fancy cars, clothes or anything material (of course if they come, it will be an added bonus) because you will soon be weary of them and yearn for more.
my one wish is that i will become a mother. i do not have preference on the gender of my offspring, i know noli wants a baby boy and my mom wants a girl. for me, a boy or girl does not matter as long as s/he is healthy, beautiful, full of virtues and intelligent. i will become the most loving mother, i know i will. last time, i have not wanted motherhood so badly. but now, it seems to grow into me. there has been pressure from everywhere and they are kind of hard to ignore now.
we have tried many times, but every month, i see the disappointment painted on noli's face when that monthly visitor comes. i have been checked and rechecked by gynecologists and so did noli. all is fine and in their correct places they said. i know it will come in God's perfect timing, all i have to do is wishing and hoping and praying that someday my child will come.
this was a voice of yesterday...
i have been contemplating on a career moves since eons ago. but should i really take the big step? i have missed a lot of nice opportunities for growth since i stuck it out in here. i think i need to give myself an ultimatum. perhaps april 2007 (it is just a few days more)would be the time for me to decide, but still i have not decided. i will rethink my possibilities and give myself what i deserve. i am loyal as the word connotes, but i am loyal to myself too. the organization i am in has a very high turn over of employees. since the 1.7 (2 now)years i was here, 10 people has resigned and we are talking about a work force less than that not counting the guards and housekeeping. there are only 3 of us sticking here like a glue... and i am wondering why? but the organization is giving me a chance to grow... i will be attending the leadership conference next month, so i guess i am groomed to be a leader... so i guess i will just stick it out as of now.
the resignation of rathna has made me think again. it seems i will lose one of my functioning arms if she leaves. hmmmm............. let me stick it out until april and let us see what the future promises ahead.... and i have decided that i am sticking it out as yet... noli is moving places and i am his wind... but the wind need to go places too.
i am not in my smiling self again. i need to get out of the office today so i will not end up snapping on people when i am in distress. urghhh!!!!!!!!! this has happened lately... and in retrospection, i have not changed at all... i hope i will - for the better that isQ
In the middle of saving the world and saving myself... i am resorting to blogging again!
my head aches with all this computing when math was never my favorite, but i need to calculate and recalculate! grrr...
i am just writing whatever gibberish idea comes to mind. by the way, i am quite excited with all the developments to come this year... there will be a lot of changes and a lot of plans... i just hope most of them will come true... God is on our side, i know...
1. Ate Dimpz is coming to Cambodia
2. BFBL will start production next month
3. Nanay and the grannies are coming end of March or July
4. Leadership conference in Hyatt Regency at Chesapeake Bay in April
5. Our BLISS project with nanay and tatay in June
6. CamboLANdia to take fruit before year end
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